Frequently asked questions
Therapy
-
The word therapy comes from a Greek word meaning, cure or healing. In the Western World, we have come to use the word therapy as a shorthand for 'talking therapies'. Though it can include many different psychological and psychotherapeutic disciplines.
-
This is a very personal question, the answer of which I believe can only be truly chosen by the individual him or herself. If you are having difficulty coping with a particular circumstance in your life, if you are experiencing emotional disturbances that you don't understand, if you are having difficult relationships you can't seem to get a handle on, or are having trouble changing an area of your life, no matter how hard you try...therapy may be for you.
-
Firstly, I would invite you to consider yourself not as a defective or broken person, but rather a person under the influence of a pain that hasn't been properly supported, held and met. Pain unheard, can become a pretty horrendous injury.
As an integrative therapist, I have great respect for many therapies, and practices. I believe healing can come from many different practices, not just counselling or psychotherapy. Understanding, however, coupled with compassion, and leading towards healing, is something I think counselling and psychotherapy do particularly well. -
As children, we can find a wide range of things traumatic, and we lack the consciousness and vocabulary to express it. This can often mean that we think things are fine, until some later point in adulthood when “out of the blue” things start to ”go wrong”. This is very common, and almost always terrifying for people. Coming into therapy and dealing with the effects of past trauma can put some of those feelings into a less overwhelming context.
-
Within the UK, counsellor and psychotherapist aren't protected terms. Therefore understanding the differences between the two terms can be confusing. I see counselling as being able to tackle everyday problems, which may span the mundane to the catastrophic. Counselling is often linked with more short-term work and may be more structured.
Psychotherapeutic work explores more deeply held patterns which may lie within your past history. While psychotherapy absolutely deals with current issues a client may have, we often explore how those current issues may link to self-beliefs or identity. Psychotherapy is often linked with longer-term work. -
I hear this very often from new clients - my issues aren't THAT bad, or ‘this feels utterly indulgent’. One of my favourite writers, Vicktor Frankel puts it this way,
"A man's suffering is similar to the behaviour of gas. If a certain quantity of gas is pumped into an empty chamber, it will fill the chamber completely and evenly, no matter how big the chamber. Thus suffering completely fills the human soul and conscious mind, no matter whether the suffering is great or little. Therefore the 'size' of human suffering is absolutely relative." from “Man’s Search for Meaning”
Whatever is causing you pain is real; and in some way, untenable to you. That is where we begin - not with someone else's story. With yours. -
This can be a real concern for individuals at the beginning of therapy. Will I become dependent? Will I become disempowered and need constant therapy to get me through life?
I believe good therapy initially is more like a cast rather than a crutch. A cast holds you in the best position for healing. It also protects the wounded site from infection and external disturbance. But the healing doesn't come from the cast, the therapy, the healing comes from within YOU. -
Sometimes it’s appropriate to see people more than once a week, during an acute crisis, for instance. When appropriate I will schedule either a series of short “check-in calls’ with a client, sometimes daily or multiple times a week, in addition to their session, or an online session may be scheduled in addition to face-to-face working. As well, with some issues, the normal therapeutic hour (50 mins) may not be sufficient. When this is the case I schedule either a “deep dive” longer session to tackle a specific issue, or a series of longer sessions, before returning to the therapeutic hour sessions.
-
Appointments cancelled or rescheduled within 48 hours of their start time are subject to a cancellation fee.
The fee for a cancellation within 48 hours is £40. However, if an appointment is cancelled within 24 hours, or not attended, the full fee will apply.
In exceptional circumstances the cancellation fee will not apply.
walking Therapy
-
Some of the goals of therapy are to help create safety, mindfulness and compassion in the life of the client. For some clients, having a session or series of sessions that occur ‘out in the world’ can aid in that process. Some examples of where this has benefited my clients:
1. Taking a recovering agoraphobic out for a walk, grounding the anxiety in situ and being able to talk and walk through the anxiety. It also builds confidence.
2. Taking someone dealing with childhood trauma out to buy coffee during deep dives, grounding the reality of the now - no longer a traumatised child, also being in the world with someone who has seen the traumatised child (at least in flashback) and yet being without shame.
3. Using the environment as a teacher. ‘Do you notice that you can’t breathe properly right now but you find it hard to slow down, almost as if you are ignoring your distress…’. -
Even if the weather is bad, I encourage my clients to still attend their session. Particularly because often I've had people travelling to see me, and I want to honour that commitment. Also, challenging weather can become a useful part of therapy… sometimes you get stuck in the rain and you still have to do things. However, if the weather is particularly disruptive, I would reschedule and the prospective client wouldn't lose any money.
Couples Therapy
-
While individual therapy is going to be useful for the individuals that make up a couple, there are times when coming to therapy with your partner is an important part of creating a relationship that works for you. If you and your partner have difficulty “getting over” arguments; eg the next argument references the last one, or the last 79... If lack of intimacy, emotional and/or sexual, has you feeling “less connected”, or if you find yourself feeling stuck in your relationship, unable to shift or move through an issue with your partner; couples therapy could be a powerful part of creating new patterns and behaviours in your relationship.
Coaching
-
Step One: An initial free phone call (20mins) which will determine if coaching is appropriate and whether we might be a good fit
Step Two: The initial session, if booked as a one-off this will be a general session to highlight the main issues and give actionable takeaways. If the initial session is booked as a part of a package, the initial session will be dedicated to exploring the block(s) to success and beginning to create an actionable structure. This would likely be followed by a deep dive a week or fortnight later.
Step Three: The rest of the sessions would consist of putting a structure in place and would also include reviews of how things are working. The coaching could end with a handful of sessions or could continue monthly for support and adjustments. -
Coaching is appropriate if you have a specific goal that you want to achieve and you are experiencing a block in getting there, or if you want to create a structure for success but are unsure of how to do this. This differs from psychotherapy, which is a long term approach to coping with the mental and physical effects of trauma.