RECOVERING FROM CHRONIC PERFECTIONISM

Looking good, but feeling like a fraud?

One of the areas of specialism within my client work is what I call “overachieving“. Many of my clients do not feel they fall into this category because they haven’t done everything they have dreamt of yet. Or because they have fallen down, let someone down - had a failed marriage or a failed business, or both.

These high achieving, often high flying, individuals speak of their “high standards”, that they don’t judge others, just themselves.  That other people seem to be able to get away with shoddy behaviour, but they can’t. Or perhaps they believe they can when they are at their manipulative best/worst.

My clients speak of perfectionism, of wanting to banish weakness, not be so lazy, and on and on.  From the outside view, the overachiever may appear as though they not only have a lot, if not everything, but they also appear to have it all under control.  Until...they don’t.

And at the core of it all is a deeply held belief that they are not enough. That the only way they can be enough is to be great.

I feel deeply passionate about working with these issues, of helping my clients to differentiate between excellence and worthiness.  Achievement without worthiness is empty and we are most likely to feel deeply fraudulent. Striving for excellence, being excited and passionate about it, while deeply feeling a sense of worth, is a whole other world.